Venting

Proverbs 29: 11 Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.

Ouch! This verse was part of the 16th month of my daily reading plan entitled, “Read through the Bible in One Year.”

 It felt as if it hit me right between the eyes. How many times have I said, “I just need to vent for awhile?” This phrase inevitably gives me permission to say anything that comes to my mind or that I’m currently feeling in my heart. It allows me to relish in how good it feels or tastes coming out of my mouth. Anger or gossip can sometimes taste like a double chocolate brownie with ice cream and fudge can’t it?

There are plenty of times as a wife, mother and friend that my husband, kids or other mom’s step on my toes, disagree with me, make me mad or just think contrary to what I think and that makes me need to “vent” once in awhile. That’s fair, right?

Venting is defined in the dictionary as a:

verb 

1 give free expression to (a strong emotion): 

  2 provide with an outlet for air, gas, or liquid

Although the first definition is probably more correct, the second is probably more accurate. When we “vent” about other people to other people, it is a dangerous and foolish practice and yet enticingly easy. Let’s face it, most of the time it is just plain fun. Venting will, however careful you do it, destroy someone else’s character and just as certainly start to destroy yours as well.

Personally, I struggle with feasting on venting and gossip, especially when I can specifically target another person for my frustrations. When I can use a few minutes to cut someone else to the core and serve them up on a platter for my own enjoyment, it provides me an outlet for hot air and noxious gas and has an unflattering direct connection to my true character.

The problem with venting is the gas...the smell...the pollution it creates. When you feel the need to vent, take it to the Lord. The Father, your Father in Heaven wants to hear about your frustrations and He wants to help you through your relationships. And when you vent to Him, you don’t put yourself or anyone else in danger. He will protect your lips and heal your heart. He will make you wise and keep you from foolishness. It’s a hard, hard remedial lesson that I need to learn and learn and relearn. I wish I could say, “I’ve got this one in the bag” but I don’t. The Bible has a way of pushing right on the spots of my heart that are soft and bruised and need healing.

Prayer: Father, forgive me when I am foolish and choose to vent because I feel entitled. Who am I that I should ever feel that I have so much authority or power to speak about another person that way. Please call me to you when I’m angry, hurt or feeling more important than I should. Teach me to pour my heart out to you instead of others. Teach me to be wise and holy. Amen.

Grandparent's Day 2010

Today was Grandparent's Day at school. Unfortunately, none of the grandparents could be there...they were all out of state. Emily had her first sax "solo" or rather duet with her teacher. She's been playing for a year now and taking lessons for about 4 months...something has clicked...and she did beautifully. Christian is playing in the second clip...he's frustrated with his band because they won't stop screwing around...but he is doing well. Jed is in the third clip. He didn't know I was there till the end...that's when his smile came out. And Wesley, he had pink eye today...and it sucked! But we had a good day...just screwing around. And tomorrow is his BIRTHDAY!!!!!! YAY!!!

Never Alone

I found this on another blog...if anyone is still reading my blog, I hope you are blessed by it like I was.

Like many people around the world today, I am transfixed by the drama unfolding in Chile as the 33 miners who have spent 69 days 2000' underground are pulled to the surface one by one. I can't imagine the ordeal they went through as day after day went by with an uncertain future.

In reading the CNN article on this story, (so far, as of noon on Wednesday), one line jumped out at me.

"To say there were 33 trapped in the mine is wrong, Ramirez said. There were 33 men -- and God."

I've had a few phone calls this week with folks who are facing uncertain futures, and fighting with despair. Whether it's health issues, job issues, divorce, addictions, or a myriad of other challenges that our people are facing, the challenge remains the same; an uncertain future.

It is imperative that we remember one critical truth as we navigate our life on earth; you are never alone. For those who have called and trusted in the name of Jesus, you will never again be alone. It's you + God and that is an equation built for success. Consider the following Scriptures;

[Jesus] "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand." (John 10:27-28)

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:14-16)

No matter what we face in life; whether it's a test or a trial, grief or sin, remember that you're never alone. As the popular worship song by Matt Redman says,

Oh no, You never let go, through the calm and through the storm,
Oh, no, You never let go, through every high and every low,
Oh, no, You never let go, Lord you never let go of me.

"When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze." (Isaiah 43:2)

My prayer is that you would be reminded today that Christ is IN you. I leave you with this;

"And Christ lives within you, so even though your body will die because of sin, the Spirit gives you life because you have been made right with God. The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you." (Romans 8:10-11)

Awakening

Do you remember this movie? It describes a little bit of what I've felt is happening in my life. After 13 years of being a stay-at-home mom things are changing all around me and in the process I've experienced an awakening deep inside of myself that I wasn't expecting.

Soon, I will be sending my baby to Kindergarten and everything I've known about every day life is going to change. This is a day that I've dreamed of for years. I never understood when other mom's would cry and be so emotional about watching the last one go to school...I always thought these women were nuts. But now, in my old age, I get it. It's the end of an era. And, that is sad in the way that it is always hard to say good-bye and it is always hard to experience change.

Knowing that this moment in time has been approaching quickly has forced me to take notice of the every day common things that will soon be gone such as: the feeling of a little hand reaching up to hold mine as we walk through a parking lot, the smell and softness of sleepy heads right after dawn, the richness of being able to pick up a big 5 year old in my arms and feel his tight grasp around my neck, laying in bed and reading a picture book, the feeling of joy I get when I tickle a belly and the wonderful sound of tiny giggles, enjoying peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at my kitchen table at noon, chalk drawings on the sidewalk and wiping tears of disappointment...really all those things are rich and buttery and sweet. But, for so many years they have just been common...not for long.

My role is changing...ready or not. I've been given a shove in that direction over the last 6 weeks because a job literally fell into my lap. I wasn't looking, wasn't expecting to go back to work, wasn't preparing to go back to work, just suddenly was back to work. I think I was naive about the whole thing and just thought taking this position would be like getting paid for what I was already doing. It has come to mean so much more than that and it requires much more than that...ready or not!

Over the last few weeks, we, my kids, my husband and myself, have had to quickly learn what it means that mom is not always around. What it means that mom has to leave and they have to step up and take on more responsibility. I think this is a good experience...we just weren't prepared for the shock of it all.

Personally, I wasn't prepared for what is awakening inside of me. It has been like a part of myself that has been asleep for many years is alive, thriving and begging to get out. I've located a new boldness I never knew I had. I'm having conversations I never thought I could have and asking for things in a way I didn't know I was capable of. And, I'm taking risks...and really, that is brand new for me. I'm asking people to believe in me...and in order to do that I must first believe in myself...

Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it. If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy.

W. Somerset Maugham, The Razor's Edge, 1943

My oldest...

My oldest child, Christian Douglas, will stand in front of our church tomorrow morning and make his very own profession of faith. I just can't believe that he is old enough! It seems as if it was yesterday that I was counting the days until my due date...and then experiencing those 3 painful days that I had to wait past my due date until he made his appearance.

When we found out I was pregnant, after experiencing a terribly painful miscarriage, we knew immediately what we were going to name him. Christian Douglas would be his name...this little man who would be the most perfect representation of our love. Combining my name Christine with my husband Douglas's name.

Christian is a thoughtful, wise, intuitive young man who is one of the most forgiving people I know. He is incredibly musical...never ceasing to amaze me how he can improvise on his saxophone with out any practice at all? Makes this momma wonder what how great he would be if he practiced.

He is also an incredible dedicated Christian who is not afraid to ask difficult questions, wrestle with difficult concepts, but is also not afraid to accept the things he can't always understand. He seeks to know Christ, he struggles to read his Bible and he seeks to hear God's voice through prayer. He teaches me things daily and often has insights that are beyond his years.

I'm incredibly proud of him, incredibly blessed by him and can't wait to celebrate with him tomorrow.

Learning about photography

I got Doug a Cannon Rebel XSI for Christmas this year. The camera does so much and I really have no idea how to use it except for the point and click function. I have this great instrument and only know how to play chopsticks on it. I am having fun trying to blindly find my way around the camera...and slowly I'm learning about the settings on the internet. I don't own a good photo editing software...so if anyone has any suggestions I'm all ears. I am thinking about Photoshop...one of my girlfriends has warned me that it is really hard to use. Maybe I'll take a class at our local community college?

Here are a few pictures of my beautiful children. My favorite subject.

Miscellany Monday

i've been reading lots of blogs lately, probably to just keep from doing my housework...and lowercase letters is one i occasionally read. i like her title. that's probably what brought me there in the first place, that or a give away. i'm a givaway addict lately...but haven't won anything yet. i even entered a blog swap...is that pathetic? we are leaving for mexico in a week from tomorrow...i'm not counting the days or anything. wish we had left about 6 weeks ago because i was 10lbs lighter then...and then, i fell off the wagon. birthday cake will do that to you...birthday cake and stress. i eat when i'm stressed...i've had a lot of stress lately...i've been eating alot lately. last random thought of the day, doug just asked me what i was humming while i was surfing the web...the song from dirty dancing that the sister sang in the talent show..."join hands and hearts and voices, voices, and hands. at kellerman's the friendships last long as the mountain stands." ya, i have no idea why?