Doug and I have been having an ongoing conversation over his concern of his perception of my disdain of being a SAHM. (If you can get through that sentence, congratulations!) I've been trying to explain to him that I don't hate being a SAHM however, sometimes the monotony of it all sometimes leaves me wanting more.
He is astonished that I seem surprised by the question, "What's for dinner?" I'm trying to explain to him that I'm not surprised by the question rather, the question drains me. I know that I have to provide dinner and lunch and breakfast every day, it's just that it is difficult to continue to find new items for the menu and even harder to actually keep the food in the house.
Although having a clean house is very satisfying, actually cleaning the house is not. In fact, I don't mind cleaning too much, but the fact that after I do it everyone drops all their stuff everywhere with no regard for my work is disheartening. Even harder to deal with is cleaning the kitchen only to have it messed up again and again and again and again.
In fact, my biggest complaint with housework in general, is the general nature of "unending-ness" that seems to accompany it. The laundry is never done, the dishes never clean, the fridge always empty and the kitchen always dirty.
I don't hate being a SAHM. In fact, I consider it an enormous privilege and luxury. I realize that I am being given an enormous gift. Even with my full understanding of the life of privilege that I've been given, I still tend to lose my zeal with the monotony of the job. Sometimes I do long for a job that will pay me actual cash or give me achievement awards or have a task that I can see from start to finish. I'm confident that I'm not alone in my feelings. I'm also confident that my life will not always look the way it does right now and that some day I will have other problems. But right now, in the middle of January, I do find myself dreaming of leaving the house, earning some spending money and then coming back home to loads of unending laundry and an empty pantry.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Why do I argue?
There are times in my life that I find myself arguing with my children...it's a terribly slippery slope than I don't realize I'm on until I'm so stressed that my shoulders are around my ears and my neck is as stiff as an oak tree. Somewhere in the middle of me explaining why...it hits me, "Why am I arguing...just do what I said." "Why, because I said so!"
And the older they get the better they get at involving me in these banters...now granted, I think that children should learn to have opinions and be able to voice what is on their mind, however, there is a time and a place for everything and when I'm telling you to go do your homework upstairs and you want to argue about the decibel level in your room from the wind as opposed to the decibel level in the kitchen from brothers, TV, Ipod and dog is not one of those times. When I'm telling you to put your PJ's on because it's time for bed is not one of those times, when you are instructed to finish your milk,put your coat on, go to the bathroom, buckle up...none of these times are the right time to voice your argumentative opinion.
Yet, I will in moments of weakness entertain the arguments. I continually say things like, "Because..., because..., because..." I always hated when my mother would say, "Because I said so!" but as an adult I can appreciate that declarative sentence immensely. Sometimes that's all you can say as a parent because to explain the details of why and how you came to the decision you have arrived at is too exhausting, won't be understood and frankly doesn't need to be explained.
So I'm shaking my head and wondering how I've fallen down this slippery slope fighting to right myself and my children are shaking their heads wondering why their reign of terror and control has come to an end.
And the older they get the better they get at involving me in these banters...now granted, I think that children should learn to have opinions and be able to voice what is on their mind, however, there is a time and a place for everything and when I'm telling you to go do your homework upstairs and you want to argue about the decibel level in your room from the wind as opposed to the decibel level in the kitchen from brothers, TV, Ipod and dog is not one of those times. When I'm telling you to put your PJ's on because it's time for bed is not one of those times, when you are instructed to finish your milk,put your coat on, go to the bathroom, buckle up...none of these times are the right time to voice your argumentative opinion.
Yet, I will in moments of weakness entertain the arguments. I continually say things like, "Because..., because..., because..." I always hated when my mother would say, "Because I said so!" but as an adult I can appreciate that declarative sentence immensely. Sometimes that's all you can say as a parent because to explain the details of why and how you came to the decision you have arrived at is too exhausting, won't be understood and frankly doesn't need to be explained.
So I'm shaking my head and wondering how I've fallen down this slippery slope fighting to right myself and my children are shaking their heads wondering why their reign of terror and control has come to an end.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Why do I take naps on Sunday afternoon?
On the weekends that I sing on Worship Team I come home from the third service on Sunday completely exhausted. Bone tired. Newborn tired...I simply can't keep my eyes open and as soon as we say "Amen" after lunch I flee the table and bury myself under the covers and sleep. Sleep hard. It's glorious until it's bed time and suddenly I'm not tired...at all!
I'm sitting here watching the TLC show John and Kate plus 8. Has anybody seen this show? It's hilarious! I'm in awe of this woman who has a set of twin girls who are 7 and sextuplets who are three. She is amazingly organized, completely involved with her kids and so very real. I watch this family and think that if they can do this with 8 kids I can certainly handle my 4. And secretly I think, well, my kids aren't that bad.
Wrestling is big in our house right now. That's all the boys do all day long...that and jump off the coffee table into the bean bag chairs. It's a little nuts. The funny thing is that Wesley(the baby) is big enough and tough enough to take down every last one of his siblings. It's so much fun to watch all of them play together.
Well, I should start turning off the lights and trying to force myself to get sleepy..wish me luck!
I'm sitting here watching the TLC show John and Kate plus 8. Has anybody seen this show? It's hilarious! I'm in awe of this woman who has a set of twin girls who are 7 and sextuplets who are three. She is amazingly organized, completely involved with her kids and so very real. I watch this family and think that if they can do this with 8 kids I can certainly handle my 4. And secretly I think, well, my kids aren't that bad.
Wrestling is big in our house right now. That's all the boys do all day long...that and jump off the coffee table into the bean bag chairs. It's a little nuts. The funny thing is that Wesley(the baby) is big enough and tough enough to take down every last one of his siblings. It's so much fun to watch all of them play together.
Well, I should start turning off the lights and trying to force myself to get sleepy..wish me luck!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Congratulations Melissa!
Take a look at what has happened to my blogging friend Melissa since Monday...I still can't wrap my brain around it!
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
So gross!
Ok, I need the writer's strike to end...today! We have been reduced to watching hours and hours of the Discovery show "Dirty Jobs" If you're not familiar with it...it's gross. The entire show is about poo and dead animals and anything else that is terribly disgusting. Granted, my kids and husband are entertained...I'm wondering when oh when will the writer's strike end?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)