Thursday, January 17, 2008

Why do I argue?

There are times in my life that I find myself arguing with my's a terribly slippery slope than I don't realize I'm on until I'm so stressed that my shoulders are around my ears and my neck is as stiff as an oak tree. Somewhere in the middle of me explaining hits me, "Why am I arguing...just do what I said." "Why, because I said so!"

And the older they get the better they get at involving me in these granted, I think that children should learn to have opinions and be able to voice what is on their mind, however, there is a time and a place for everything and when I'm telling you to go do your homework upstairs and you want to argue about the decibel level in your room from the wind as opposed to the decibel level in the kitchen from brothers, TV, Ipod and dog is not one of those times. When I'm telling you to put your PJ's on because it's time for bed is not one of those times, when you are instructed to finish your milk,put your coat on, go to the bathroom, buckle up...none of these times are the right time to voice your argumentative opinion.

Yet, I will in moments of weakness entertain the arguments. I continually say things like, "Because..., because..., because..." I always hated when my mother would say, "Because I said so!" but as an adult I can appreciate that declarative sentence immensely. Sometimes that's all you can say as a parent because to explain the details of why and how you came to the decision you have arrived at is too exhausting, won't be understood and frankly doesn't need to be explained.

So I'm shaking my head and wondering how I've fallen down this slippery slope fighting to right myself and my children are shaking their heads wondering why their reign of terror and control has come to an end.


Heaven Sent said...

Oh, I have already thought those words in my head, and I have a LONG way to go. It is exhausting, but you are not alone. And you have four kids. I think you are MORE than entitled!

i am not said...

This is quite often said in my house: "Honey, I'm 31 years old - I've been around for a lot longer than you."

I hate "because I said so" too, but sometimes there really is just no other answer - I try to use it sparingly, though.

Carol said...

I like "Because God put ME in charge of YOU!" Yep, that's right, I lay down the God card! Or I guess you could say it a little nicer: "Because God gave me the priveledge of being your mother." and then you could follow up with "and your mother said do it!" Such a fine line sometimes between giving your child a voice and a perspective on their choices, which I hold as a VERY IMPORTANT thing for my child to grasp; and having them argue over something you've asked/told them to do just for the sake of arguing! HAVE FUN WITH THAT!!

Jen said...

Because that is the rule in our house. And then I argue with them.

Our favorite of late is "Take it up with your union steward." The look at us like "What?" and wander away.

Becky said...

You are SO not alone in this... and I only have 1 who has already learned how to drive me to arguing. And I always hated the answer "because I said so," but I'm starting to appreciate its value. My problem is, I want her to understand why we ask her to do certain things so she will see their value and hopefully choose to do these things on her own eventually, but sometimes she really does just need to do it because I SAID SO! I like Carol's though... I may try the God card, too. Do you think it would work with a 3 1/2 year old???