Friday, June 16, 2006

The difference between expectation and reality is misery

So we were at the "marriage enrichment" course I talked Doug into going to last night and the teacher says..."The difference between expectation and reality is misery." What a thought! We need to figure out how far away what are expectations are from what reality really is...Because the higher our expectations...The more our misery when reality doesn't live up to them.

sit and think about that for awhile...

For example...When speaking to neighbor about his daughter getting her feelings hurt by my daughter...I expect him to speak to me with respect and courtesy...In reality he barks at me about my poor parenting skills and what he sees as my daughter's self-centered behavior(she's only 6) and then leaves me to feel the misery of the exchange that just took place.

This is such a mind blowing concept for me...Change the situation and the players for your own experiences and you will see what I mean.

For example...When speaking to my neighbor about his daughter getting her feelings hurt by my daughter...I should expect that he can not hold an adult conversation because of his overwhelming lack of social skills...In reality he barks at me about his spoiled daughter getting her feelings hurt by my 6 year old...Still a little misery at being talked to like that but the reality is so much closer to my expectation that I should simply be able to walk away thinking "Jerk!"


JD said...

Why in the world are you posting at 6:43am? Crazy woman:)

Great post. I have learned this lesson over the last 4 1/2 years with several people in my life. I was getting quite disappointed by certain people and getting my feelings hurt, blah, blah, blah. What I realized (after many, many tears) is that I needed to change my expectations. Situation with those people is much, much better now.

As for your neighbor... Hello? Is HE 6? Could we possibly have an adult conversation regarding the little kids. Jerk!

one hot momma said...

My grandpa always told me not to expect anything from anyone and you'll never be disappointed...I used to think that was a blanket statement and pretty much lived by it, but I have come to realize that my children live up to my expectations when I expect more of them. I think my grandpa meant his statement should apply to those outside of your immediate family, and if I could ask him he'd probably add it should only be applied to those we have encountered that are truly JERKS!

Carol said...

Here is what I suggest...
Maybe you can have the kids make a garden stone that under it with bright stones that spell out:
love ya!

Mommy Brain said...

I wish all of you could see this clearly...It is a topiary of someone mooning their neighbor! Awesome! I don't know if this "type" of landscaping is allowed by the Homeowner's Association?

Carol said...

I'll upload it on my site.
Go there to see it better!
I really think you need to ask your landscaper to plant one of these in your yard!

Jen said...

Your neighbor is a poo-poo head. Emmy is a perfect little lady and his kid is a spoiled twit.

I have lowered all my expectations and now I'm a happy gal.